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Dear Doctor,

I am a young teenager and have been having some problems lately. About 6 months ago I was searching the internet and by accident I found a type of porn called yiffy. This is like hentai but with animals that have human personalities. Although it was strangly good I soon disregarded it. Recently though I found this "porn" again. Now though for some strange reason I am having very strong feelings for it. It is starting to annoy me as I cannot stop thinking about it and now I develop a pain in my stomach like I had when I had a crush on a girl but now its a lot stronger. I cannot get this out of my head and i've tried not thinking about it but there is nothing I can do to make myself forget about it. I haven't told anybody about this including my parents and so I hope you can help!

                                                                                                              Yours desperately,

                                                                                                             James.  (I'm from Ireland if that helps.)

                                                                                                    







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James--

Thanks for writing. I am glad you did. Before commenting,  I must say that you definitely need personal help with this—email advice from me will not be sufficient.

That said (and please take it to heart), as you have written, this particular imagery—this particular style of sex fantasy— has grabbed hold of your imagination, and you are finding yourself obsessed with it.

Visual porn can be dangerous in that way. Eyesight is an instantaneous and powerful sense, and once that sensory pathway is stimulated in ways which the personality deems pleasurable, one may become hungry for sensations of a similar kind. Then the images are brought inward (the inner eye) as masturbation fantasies. Since orgasm is characterized by a powerful focusing of one-pointed attention as well as a rapid release of neuroactive chemical substances which promote bonding, the images--the fantasies--will become further empowered by the focus upon them, and the bonding of ones own sexual energy to them. In other words, when pornographic images seem to be taking on a life of their own, the energy for that "life" is ones own life energy projected onto the images which then may begin to seem more and more "alive."

If you understand this, you will see that much of the fear you suffer may be fear of your own sexual energy. Your own sexual energy, not just the imagery upon which you have been focusing it (which you fear is too kinky), but the basic, raw, male human experience of fantasy, erection, and ejaculation. That energy, that drive, can seem fearsome, particularly to a young person who has not fully experienced it in relationship. One might begin to fear how powerfully one is influenced by that energy. One might begin to fear being hooked on, as if addicted to, that energy and the need to experience it--to feel that sexual energy--and then to feel it again as soon as possible. That kind of fear—fear of oneself let’s call it--fear of ones desires, is not at all unusual in a person of your age.

Along the same lines (fear of oneself), your engagement by this kind of imagery might stem from a fear of sexual involvement with an actual woman, the yiffy being a kind of halfway step: female perhaps, but not fully a woman possessing all the dangerous powers of an actual woman.

In my professional opinion, the best way to deal with your desperation in feeling yourself too influenced by the kind of images you mentioned, and perhaps even fearing that you have fallen entirely under their spell, is to seek experienced, non-judgmental help in understanding more about your fascination with them, and wise advice about how to manage this kind of not uncommon problem.

Please find a local counselor—the wisest person you can find—to go through this with you. You will be glad, I would wager, that you did.

Be well.



Dr.,

Thank you very much for responding so quickly to my message. I will follow your guidance and find a local counsellor and progress from there.

Yours faithfully,

James.








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