Dear Dr. Robert,
I have been following your advice on diet. I began this change ten weeks ago,
and recently I noticed that I feel very much better than I did when I was
eating in the old way. I am just happier, and I feel physically and emotionally
lighter just as you said. My thoughts are not so often depressive as they were
before. So thanks for the good advice.
Now I have another question. I noticed on your homepage that your site is
dedicated, among other things, to "spiritual unfoldment." I would be
very interested in learning more about that. Would you please explain what you
mean by spiritual unfoldment, and please give some suggestions for spiritual
unfoldment as you did for diet.
---T.H.G., Lahti, Finland
Dear T.H.G., Thank you for your letter. What I mean by "spiritual
unfoldment" is the possibility of finding a center which is more than just
"myself," a center which seems to embody a level of wisdom, empathy,
creativity, humor, and joy which is missing in the ordinary, everyday
personality, a center, that is, which is not the outcome of thoughts,
attitudes, and ideas, but which seems to exist prior to thought.
Once this center is somehow intuited by the ordinary self,
"unfoldment" refers to the ever-expanding experience of finding
meaning and value in living more from that greater center and less from the
demands of the everyday personality as it expresses itself in thoughts, fears,
and desires. To put this in somewhat grander terms, that which is finite,
time-bound, and subject to death, becomes aware in some way of the underlying
ground of being which feels infinite, timeless, and everlasting.
I say that this center must be intuited by the ordinary self because
intuition is a faculty that functions beyond the regions of conscious thought,
and so may provide a kind of bridge between thought and the underlying ground
of being. I like to use the word "unfoldment," because it suggests
that this process involves the unfurling or unwinding of something that is
already present but needs to be opened up in order that it may function to the
fullest. If you have ever seen the leaf of a large fern uncoiling, this may
provide a good visual metaphor.
Unfortunately, general advice on nutrition is easier to offer--and much easier
to convey in words--than advice on fostering spiritual unfoldment. This is
because dietary advice can be based on scientific research, and so can be
demonstrated factually to the human intellect, while spirituality or
spiritual unfoldment cannot even be understood intellectually, much less proven
scientifically.
For example, we now know that substances in the cocoa bean provide a powerful
antioxidant action which slows the oxidation and breakdown of HDL cholesterols,
causing them to remain longer in the bloodstream. This is a fact which can be
shown by means of exact measurement. Since HDL cholesterols are beneficial to
the circulatory system, adding cocoa to the diet should benefit total bodily
health, and recent studies demonstrate that this is true. Therefore, I would
feel confident in suggesting that one might consider adding a tablespoon or so
of unsweetened cocoa powder to the daily diet, and unless someone is allergic
to cocoa, this practice ought to work well for anyone.
But even assuming that one accepts that spiritual unfoldment is possible, that
trying to encourage it is desirable, and that advice on how to promote it can
be conveyed, at least to some extent, in words, without knowing where you are
in your own understanding and without hearing about your own specific attitudes
towards the human experience of living and dying, it is difficult for me to
suggest what you in particular might do next to "unfold" spiritually.
This difficulty in generalizing about inner life is one of the chief reasons
why individual, personalized psychotherapy is so valuable. In private, and in
an atmosphere of safety, acceptance, trust, and understanding, these subtleties
may be entertained so that their finer nuances become apparent without
the necessity of resorting only to words on a page, or to a one-sided talk to a
general audience.
Numerous gurus, guides, and spiritual teachers, to say nothing about the gang
of self-help authors eager to sell books, offer advice on this matter, but many
of the people who come to me for therapy have not found such advice to be
particularly helpful. In fact, some have found such advice to be demeaning,
misleading, or confusing, and have come to psychotherapy partly in order to try
to sort out the confusion or heal the damage.
This happens, I believe, because the advice of such gurus and spiritual teachers
almost always refers either to some traditional religious practices which are
to be followed more or less blindly regardless of individual temperament or
individual need, or else depends on what that particular teacher believes has
been helpful in his or her own approach to spirituality. But my experience
tells me that each person must find his or her own way to "unfold,"
and that following a doctrinal religious system or the generalized advice of a
guru is not likely to do the job for most people. As the brilliant sage, J. Krishnamurti put this, "Truth is a
pathless land."
In my advice on dietary changes, I said, "Everybody is different, and
every body is different, so without a private consultation, I cannot
give you person-specific advice . . . but I will offer some general principles
that can help almost anyone." I will try to do the same here as regards
your question about spiritual unfoldment, but only with the understanding that,
unlike my generalized nutritional advice, this advice about how to approach
spirituality will certainly not apply to everyone, and that without
knowing you personally, I am able to speak only in the most general way. In
fact, my suggestions, being generalized, may not be the best thing for you. Indeed,
this is the point I have just made about the methods imparted, usually in an
authoritative tone, by so many gurus, guides, self-help authors, and spiritual
teachers, so please take what follows merely as suggestions to be tried out in
the spirit of experiment, certainly not as gospel.
That said, one way involves working with two practices at once. The first
requires an ongoing, honest, non-judgmental observation of one's own life,
behaviors, and personality patterns with a view towards feeling and noticing
barriers to further psychological and emotional development--not, by the way,
trying to remove the barriers, but just feeling and noticing them. The
second practice is to ask oneself: "Who am I? Who is seeing, feeling, and
thinking these things?” So, I am recommending that you might like to combine
two practices that seem to be helpful for many people: self-observation,
and self-investigation.
By "self-observation" I mean watching oneself as if one were watching
a friend for whom one feels a certain affection, but can see also with a
certain detachment and objectivity. For example: suppose that someone makes a
remark that I find insulting, and I begin to feel angry. In self-observation,
instead of focusing attention on the insulting remark and upon the motives of
the person who made it, I will instead simply watch anger itself as if
observing a phenomenon that I want to understand better. So, it is not the
insult that I wish to focus upon, nor do I wish to prove to myself that the
insult does not apply to me, nor do I want to focus upon the personality and
possible character flaws of the person who made the remark, but rather I want
to watch anger as it manifests in my own habitual process of responding to
perceived insults with anger and self-justification. That is why this practice
is called self-observation. And I will apply this same attitude of
non-judgmental self-observation to all of my behaviors, thoughts, and emotional
states whenever possible. You might begin with this practice, for example: when
speaking, notice your own tone of voice. Just notice it, without judging.
Try this for an entire day, and see what happens.
By "self-investigation" I mean discarding the conventional and normal
ideas that "myself" is my body, my name, my personal history, my
membership in a family, my profession, my nationality, ethnicity or so-called “race,”and
approaching the question--"Who am I?”--afresh. Simply ask,
"Who am I?" without accepting any final answers. Just keep asking.
Perhaps these two procedures seem simple-minded, and, from a certain point of
view, I suppose they are, but like my nutritional advice, you can try them for
a while, and see if you like the results.
Be well.