ask dr-robert

Dear Dr Robert,

I'm 17 years old and living in Ireland and I can't help but feel like I'm suffering from depression. I seem to suffer from a lot of the symptoms but I don't know if its actual depression or just, teenage angst kind of thing? though its always been there as far back as I can remember. I get random bouts of sadness or apathy or frustration at myself or sometimes just break down sobbing. sometimes it comes out as anger and I have a weird tantrum but without letting anyone know if I can help it. I get suicidal thoughts a lot but again, I wonder is that just a teenage thing?

Generally though, when I feel pretty ok, I tend to be very anti-social. I've never been any good with people. I find it extremely hard to talk to people. in the general everyday sense. I just find myself standing there with nothing to say. even with some of my closest friends. of which I don't have a lot as I find it hard to form close relationships with anyone.

I also tend not to make eye contact with people, though its been said to me and I make an effort to, I generally tend to look anywhere but at someone's face when im talking to them. I have very lonerish tendencies and big groups make me feel VERY uncomfortable.

I think part of the reason I feel very uncomfortable around people is the fact that I get this weird feeling of obligation. like if I was with a boyfriend I would feel very obligated to act a certain way even if they haven't done anything to insinuate that I should. which is why I don't keep them long.

Affection is another problem with me. or any physical contact really. I just tend to exude this aura of 'don't touch me', like I feel very stiff and awkward and formal. no matter who im with. the only time I feel semi-normal is when im drunk. and I drink to escape myself usually, which I know isn't good. I don't know...I feel very lost. and I think ive had most of these problems all my life.

I went to a homeopath last week about my eczema and she asked me questions about my life and relationships and family and friends but I couldn't make myself open up to her. I put on a weird facade of 'tough' katie kinda thing....

D'you think I have depression? Or something else? please help me, I just dont know what to do anymore. >

Yours sincerely, Katie



Dear Katie---

The symptoms you mention--and they are many--including eczema, suicidal thoughts, sadness, apathy, tantrums, and wanting to avoiding social contact, are all suggestive of possible depression. I advise you to see a psychologist for an evaluation as soon as possible. Yes, it is true that some of these feelings can be attributed to "teen angst," but once you have any suicidal ideas which are anything more than just passing thoughts, I consider it dangerous to try to explain them away yourself without being checked out by someone knowledgeable in depression and suicide prevention.

Even though you could not bring yourself to be honest with your homeopath, I am glad that you wrote to me. One of my intentions in providing this "ask the psychologist" service is to provide a first line of contact and some educated advice for those who may find difficulty in opening up in person about their problems. Here, of course, you are anonymous, and so even a very shy or closed person may be able to spill the beans.

In any case, Katie, please take my advice, and speak with an expert without delay. You do, in my opinion, need help, and I am sure that you will feel better and more free once you get it.

Be well.