Please help me. I have a lot of questions but I need some answers. Hopefully you're not a fake doctor. I really need help but I don't want to tell anyone and I'd rather commit suicide and not have to worry about life matters. My life is a mess right now.
I'm a 19 year old girl that has serious issues.
I want to first ask you how you would deal a problem with your neighbor. I have a dog and my neighbor has a dog too. There is a wire fence dividing the two houses, but whenever the two dogs meet, they bark at each other and go wild. So me and my neighbor always fight saying "train your dog" "your dog is about to kill my dog, etc., and we end up cursing at each other. What angers me is that I have to almost always tie up my dog or keep her in the house and my dog has no freedom. Plus when their little kids teases my dog with a stick through the fence, I get so upset and always say something. I don't know what to do (please help). Obviously we will be living together in the same neighborhood and if I let them do whatever they want, my dog will be going crazy and they'll laugh at my dog; if I do say something we end up in a fight each time which I feel like I lose anyway. I get upset the most because I end up half in tears and my voice shake. Is there anything I can do not to do this??
Whenever something happens I always cry and can't say anything. Then I want to kill myself for that. Everyone else makes friends and talk fine and I can't. I must be different from everyone and there is no point of me living. There are just so many things and I should really see a doctor or something. I can't even sleep these days. I have these nightmares each night and wake up at least five times. I probably sleep like 3 hours total. I even tried to cut my wrist once. It did not work and I gave up. I was supposed to cut it really deep and bleed like crazy, but it hurt really bad and I couldn't. I don't know what is wrong with me. Once I do something, everything goes wrong. Maybe I'm not supposed to live or something. You probably think I'm crazy too. After all, I do weird things. Right now I feel like stabbing someone and rip them into pieces and get their eyeballs out and just hammer them and crush them. I think my biggest problem is that I don't know how to talk to people. So all the things just build inside me and I even have a hard time right now explaining things to you in writing. But at the same time I don't want to talk to people. That would be disobeying my ten commandments, which I made like a year ago.
1. EVERY Homo sapiens in this world, including my family members is a complex, unexplainable and the greatest evil species on earth.
2. My pets are an exception.
3. Every Homo sapiens use for a purpose, betray, gossip behind your back and will hate you someday soon.
4. Do NOT TALK to Homo sapiens.
5. Do NOT BE FRIENDLY to Homo sapiens.
6. Do NOT TRUST Homo sapiens.
7. Do NOT FEEL SYMPATHY TOWRDS Homo sapiens.
8. Do BE NASTY to Homo sapiens.
9. Do STAY ALONE from Homo sapiens.
10. Do STUDY HARD.
If you ever exist you can comment on my problems. While I plan on my death. thanks anyway who ever you are for reading this if you ever do.
I am not a fake doctor, but right now you need more help than I can give in a written answer. Judging from your letter, you are at risk of suicide, and require help immediately in order to save your life so that you can develop beyond your present state of depression and confusion. Please find out the telephone number of the local suicide hotline, and call them for help.
Once you have gotten this help, please write again, and I will try to help you with some advice about the dog situation.
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