Assalam-O-Alaikum!
My
name is Salman Ahmad; 21 years old. I know there is no physical harm of
masturbation. But I think it has some psychological effects. I feel guilty, I
criticize myself. I cannot control this, so I feel helpless. I am masturbating
twice a day since last eight years. Please help me how can I stop masturbation
and how can I control sexual thoughts and urge. Hello,
Salman, and may peace be upon you too-- I understand your suffering, but it
is not masturbation that causes the psychological pain from which you
suffer, but rather the mistaken and nasty attitudes toward sex and the human body taught to you as part of the Muslim religious indoctrination which (I assume) you
received as a child. According to Abdul Kasem, "The Islamic concept of sex is based on Bedouin Arab culture that is barbaric and uncivilized, to say the least, when compared to today’s world. This is because sex is so 'dirty' a word and is so severely restricted in Islam . . . ." This sad form of ignorance, passed down through the generations, disguised as something holy, and even seen as worth defending by every imaginable form of violence from the routine sexual mutilation of female Muslim children to the murder of so-called infidels, teaches that masturbation, in reality an instinctual and almost universal human activity, is a sin
against "Allah." By the way, I called those abused little girls "Muslim children," but there are no "Muslim children." Children are children, and don't become Muslims until they are indoctrinated with the "barbaric and uncivilized" beliefs of their elders, to use Kasem's language.
In
my opinion, teaching this kind of groundless, superstitious drivel to young
human beings who are not experienced enough to judge its absurdity for
themselves is nothing short of psychological
child abuse. This is one
of the reasons, among many, why I am so opposed to religious indoctrination of
any kind: Muslim, Christian, Jewish, or whatever. To put this even more
plainly: to teach a child that some book or cleric can tell him or her what
"God" wants or does not want, or to teach a child that there is an
afterlife with rewards and punishments is simply to abuse that
child.
Salman, if
you enjoy the physical release of masturbation--many people do--I would not
advise that you handle your emotional pain by trying to stop masturbating, but instead
that you seek some personalized, non-doctrinal help in dealing with your misplaced guilt. To be clear: your guilt, imposed upon you by liars, is the source of your pain, not masturbation. I recommend consulting a psychotherapist who is not religious, if you can find one.
In
other words, I assume that you were taught that autoeroticism
(self-administered sexual stimulation) would keep you from enjoying an eternity in paradise, and could doom you
instead to endless suffering in hell. That nonsense, I feel certain, is the source of
your guilt feelings, not masturbation itself, which for many humans is a
harmless and often pleasant way to enjoy ones own body and sexuality. In any case, despite the ignorant claims of the imams, masturbation is neither physically harmful nor
emotionally harmful. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said
for religious brainwashing which, as I see it, is a major source of both
physical suffering and emotional suffering all over the world.
And the worst of
it is that many of those children end up as conflicted and frightened adults,
worried about the future and needlessly guilty about their own normal sexual desires, just like you. I hope you will awaken from this Allah fantasy before you have children of your own, and find yourself foisting upon them the same ignorance and the same suffering that was unloaded upon you.